


Jim’s A Hurt Guy - A Ficlet

by deawrites



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Adult Content, Adultery, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst with a Happy Ending, Explicit Language, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-18
Updated: 2018-01-18
Packaged: 2019-03-06 07:05:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13406004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deawrites/pseuds/deawrites
Summary: Sequel to "Jim's A Good Guy" - Harvey and Jim love each other but Harvey has a choice to make between Jim and his wife, Scottie. What's a guy to do?





	Jim’s A Hurt Guy - A Ficlet

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Jim’s a Good Guy](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12642006) by [deawrites](https://archiveofourown.org/users/deawrites/pseuds/deawrites). 



> Because Adara_Rose read "Jim's a Good Guy" and asked for more angst. I hope this makes her happy. <3
> 
> All mistakes are my own. Any kudos, comments, suggestions and criticisms welcome.

Three days. It had been three days since he had told Harvey that he was in love with him and since Harvey had said the same. Three days and there had only been a single text message from the older male:

 

‘Junior, I need time.’

 

No further explanation, no phone call; and Harvey had stayed home from work for a couple of days just to add insult to injury. Jim was aching and angry; not at Harvey as much as he was with Scottie. He knew that she had done something; said something so gut wrenching that hit had Harvey paralyzed with indecision. Had him wishing to sacrifice his own happiness for hers. Jim hated her more than he had ever hated anyone; how could she hold this power over the man he loved? How could she dare to manipulate him so? When you loved someone, you didn’t toy with them, manipulate your influence within their lives, and force them into impossible situations. When you loved someone, you were supposed to be selfless and considerate. Jim decided that Scottie didn’t truly love Harvey as much as she professed too obviously.

 

On the fourth day Jim plucked up the courage to head over to Mullens Tavern and see if Harvey were there drinking at his wife’s establishment. He was met with immediate hostility; Harvey wasn’t there but Scottie was.

 

“Get out. Before I call the real police to escort you to the curb!” Scottie hissed as she rounded from out behind the bar to walk directly up to him. “This is **my** pub and you’re not welcome here.” Jim had the distinct feeling that she wasn’t speaking of the establishment as much as she was Harvey.

 

“I just want to know if he’s alright.” Jim demanded in response. Scottie crossed her arms beneath her breasts and huffed at him dismissively.

 

“Would you now? Well you, don’t have the right to anything about him. He’s **my** husband.”

 

“And he’s **my** best friend.” Jim reminded her bitterly. “He’s my partner,”

 

“ **Ex** - _partner_.” Scottie reminded with glee. “You’re his boss. Nothing more Jim. You’re not friends anymore. Or haven’t you figured that out from his silence?”

 

Jim’s brow furrowed in disagreement and he moved to stand right in her personal space. “You don’t speak for him Scottie. You think you do, but you don’t know him like I do.”

 

“Go away Jim. Go back to policing Gotham and telling people how to live their lives. It’s what you’re good at. God knows you’re toxic and too self-absorbed to be loved by anyone.”

 

The betrayal stung sharply. The only way Scottie could know Jim’s Achilles heel of fear that he could never be loved was if Harvey had told her. Jim’s gaze narrowed further, and he stepped forward, his chest pressing against her forearms. “You’re just a tantrum throwing little girl, and he’s going to leave you. If not for me, then for someone he’ll worship the ground they walk on. You were a substitute Scottie, and you’ll never be anything else. _Ever_.” Jim stared her down for several seconds before turning and uttering that she, ‘wasn’t worth it’ and exited the bar. He heard a glass shatter somewhere behind him and didn’t flinch; Harvey had said she liked to throw things during arguments when she allowed her temper to get the best of her. His assessment that she was childish couldn’t be more fitting he supposed.

 

Once outside the bar Jim grabbed his cellphone out of his suit coat pocket and rang Harvey; as expected the call was rejected and it went straight to voice mail. “Harvey? I know you’re avoiding me. I don’t understand why, but I came by the bar just now to see if you were there. Please call me back. We need to talk. I love you.” Jim severed the call and walked down the street to where the unmarked car was parked and climbed in. Harvey was the acting Captain and would have to be at work at soon. While Jim loathed the idea of confronting him there, he realized he had little choice if Harvey wouldn’t speak to him in private.

 

Inside Scottie’s, Harvey exited the men’s’ room back into the main chamber of the bar. He saw one of the bartenders sweeping glass up from the floor and his wife seated at the bar with a tumbler of scotch. He approached her and placed his hand upon her shoulder. “What happened?”

 

Scottie shifted her gaze to her husband’s. “Nothing. Just an accident.” Harvey nodded and moved to go behind the bar.

 

“As it’s a little early to,”

 

“Don’t!” She warned sharply before abruptly calming her tone. “Just because you made the decision to quit drinking doesn’t mean that I have to follow.”

 

“I know Honey.” Harvey soothed. “I was trying to say that if you need to drink this early that it was hardly ‘nothing’ that brought you here. Want to talk about it?”

 

“No.” Scottie informed draining the last of her double. She placed the glass upon the bar and smiled at her husband. “But I would like some tea.” Harvey nodded and uttered, ‘sure thing’ before he set about making the hot water. Scottie watched him and hated Jim Gordon just a little bit more.

 

When he returned to his office, Jim saw a courier document envelope upon his desk. He opened it, pulling back the cardboard tab and reached inside. What he brought out had him sitting down in his office chair hard.  Jim stared at the resignation later, complete with a form filled out for Jim to sign and submit to HR for back pay and unused vacation days.  Harvey was quitting. He was resigning and leaving the police force. Jim swallowed and gaped at the sheets of paper in his hands for how long, he wasn’t certain. His office phone was ringing, his cell phone buzzed and, yet all Jim could do was stare. Eventually he came to his senses enough to stuff the sheets of paper back into the courier envelope and shoved it into the middle drawer of his desk. No; it wasn’t going to happen like this.

 

Blinking back tears Jim reached for his phone, and headed up to the roof of the building.

 

Harvey had listened to Jim’s voice mail twice, heard the pain in the younger man’s voice and felt like he was a mass murder of puppies. How could he talk to Jim when all it would do would be to confuse him more? He loved Jim; deeply; yet he had obligations to his wife; to himself. Harvey held the phone to his chin as he closed his eyes and prayed for strength and outward guidance. What was he supposed to do? His phone rang abruptly, and Harvey opened his eyes, not even thinking as he blindly answered it.

 

“Bullock.”

 

“You can’t resign.” Jim stated softly, his heart lodging within his throat. “Whatever does, or doesn’t; happen between us, you can’t quit. You’re a **cop** , Harvey. You know that.”

 

Harvey bowed his head forward and pressed his forehead into the palm of his left hand. “Jim,” He began but then faltered. “I can’t. I can’t stand there every day and look at you. See the way you’re succeeding where I failed.”

 

“It’s not about that.” Jim interjected knowingly. “Your ego isn’t that fragile. What did she say to you? What happened? You were going to leave her; move in with me; we were happy.”

 

Harvey lowered his hand and opened his eyes. “Don’t. Please, just don’t. Okay Jim? I’m married. I have to try and,”

 

“No.” Jim whined in interruption. “You don’t! What about us, Harvey? You said that you’re in love with me.”

 

“I am.” Harvey hissed softly. “But it’s complicated Jim. I can’t just abandon one for the other. I love Scottie too.”

 

“Love, but aren’t **in** love with.” Jim pointed out desperately.

 

“Semantics Jim!” Harvey snapped to silence him. “I can’t talk to you about this right now.”

 

Realization struck Jim. “You’re at the bar. Aren’t you?”

 

“Yeah. I was in the head when you were here. Maybe that’s for the best. We can’t talk about anything rationally yet.”

 

“Because you shut me out!” Jim defended bitterly. “We made love, you stayed the day and then you disappeared completely. No calls, no texts, not even showing up at work. I was _worried_ about you. I didn’t know what was going on. I can **be** calm Harvey, I can **be** rational; what I can’t do is be inside of your head to know everything you’re thinking and feeling about us. You have to _tell_ me.”

 

Harvey laughed a little and wiped his left hand back through his hair. “The irony in what you just said,” Harvey paused and shook his head. “Jim, I need time to work with Scottie; to see if I can save our marriage. I love you, but I married her, and I owe it to her to at least try.”

 

Rage consumed Jim. “You’ve been _trying_ for **months** Harvey!” Jim shouted before struggling to bring his emotions back under control. Even though he was on the roof of the building alone, he didn’t want to chance anyone coming out to smoke over hearing him. How desperate and broken he sounded. “The very fact that you made love with me should tell you something. It’s over with her, you just need to walk away. I see that, why don’t you?”

 

“Jim? I’m sorry. But I asked you for time and you have to respect that. _Please_?”

 

Jim closed his eyes to stave off the tears prickling them, and he took a deep breath. “Don’t do this Harvey. _Please_? Don’t do this to me.”

 

“I’ll call you when I know for certain what I’m going to do Jim. I promise.”

 

“Don’t do it. Don’t leave me Harvey.”

 

“I’m not like them, Jim. I’ll call you soon. I promise.”

 

“Harvey,” Jim stated but the call severed, and Jim lowered the phone away from his ear. He wiped a hand over his face and took another deep breath in hopes of staving off the tears. A few escaped and Jim struggled to get control of himself. He couldn’t go back inside the building to his office and play Captain if his heart was breaking. How could Harvey do this to them? To _him_? What had Scottie said to him? Or done that was enough to make him turn away completely from Jim and his previous life? Jim wished he knew so he could help to convince Harvey that there was another way; a far better one in a life with him instead of her.

 

As the days passed Jim refused to take Harvey off active duty. Officially he put him on reserve rotation and light desk duty. He kept the resignation letter and form in his desk drawer. Every evening when he stayed over to get any work done that might have crossed Harvey’s desk he took it out and looked at it afterwards. Then he drank. The bottle was Jim’s new best friend and he visited with it regularly. He kept a bottle in his desk at work. He had one in his locker in the changing area. He had several all over his apartment in various stages of depletion. The liquor store attendant nearest to his home now recognized him and knew him by name. Jim felt as if his life was going off the rails personally. Professionally he was strong and well turned out as he had ever been, hangover or no. He did his job and he did it well, after all it was the only thing he had left any longer.

 

He missed his best friend; he missed his lover; he missed even the most irritating things about Harvey. He found himself slinking into Mullens when it was at it’s busiest point just to catch a glimpse of Harvey at the bar. He looked good, serving drinks, talking to people. Laughing, placing a hand every now and again on someone’s shoulder or arm; it made Jim ache for all the times that Harvey had touched him. It was killing him by degrees all over again that Harvey didn’t belong to him solely. Jim was about to leave before Scottie saw him, when Harvey’s eyes brushed across his. Jim saw the smile fade instantly and cast Harvey a pleading look before making his escape outside. His chest heaving in an anxiety attack and hands shaking. He shouldn’t have come here. He turned and was headed down the street when he heard Scottie call his name.

 

“Don’t you ever come back here again Jim Gordon! I’ll put a restraining order out against you, I will!” He ignored her and kept walking. “You stay away! Hear me?” He heard the echo of her voice inside his head for the rest of the night.

 

A week later Jim was asked by a subordinate which he thought was worse, getting shot or stabbed? The sad fact was that Jim had been both and could compare the two experiences. Currently he was in the hospital having been stabbed; again; and knew that the detective was only trying to make conversation. The truth was, even though many Uniformed officers and detectives filtered through to wish him well, they didn’t stay very long as none of them truly knew Jim. Alone, sitting up in bed, he closed his eyes and wished; if not for the first time; that Harvey was there. All the other times he had been in the hospital his partner had sat bedside vigil. Those days; apparently; were over. Jim wished he were dead.

 

Jim heard someone entered the room and stated softly, “I’m not asleep. Just resting my eyes.”

 

“Even if you were, I’d wait.” Harvey stated moving to stand along side of the bed. Jim opened his eyes and they immediately teared. “Hey.” Harvey said reaching out to take Jim’s hand. “I heard on Alvarez on the news talking to the press and I figured you were here.”

 

Jim squeezed Harvey’s hand. “I’m sorry about coming by the bar. I just,”

 

“I know.” Harvey silenced gently. “I saw you. Saw Scottie tear out after you. I’m the one that’s sorry. She had no right to say that to you.”

 

They stared into each other’s eyes knowing that the opposite was true. “So, how long do I have you for?” Jim tried to sound good natured, but he was in emotional agony. “I just miss you so much.”

 

Harvey leaned forward and placed a kiss upon Jim’s temple. “I know, Junior.” He heard Jim choke down a sob at the endearment. Withdrawing he placed his opposite hand in his pocket and squeezed their union of hands. “She wants to have a baby.”  The words sucked the air out of Jim’s lungs. “That’s what she said. Remember you asked me?”

 

“I remember.” Jim stared at Harvey in disbelief. “And you think you can’t have that with me?”

 

Harvey looked down and ran his thumb over the back of Jim’s hand. “Surrogates are expensive as hell, adoption takes years sometimes and we run the risk of getting attached only to have the child go to someone else. Plus, who in their right mind is going to approve two male cops as parents?” Harvey raised his stare to Jim’s tear infused one. “I’m just being realistic Jim.”

 

“Does that mean you won’t even consider it? Won’t even **try** with me?” He demanded his heart in his throat. “Because I would go through _all_ of that, through _anything_ ; as long as it was with **you**.” Jim swallowed. “I love you Harvey. I want children, I want to be married; and I can see all of that happening with you. You have to know that by now.”

 

“I know you do, Jim.” Harvey assured letting go of Jim’s hand and shoving his second hand into the front pockets of his jeans. “I know. I just, no matter what I do; someone gets hurt.”

 

“I’m the one you think can recover from this because I’ve been stood up at the alter before?” Jim demanded painfully. “Harvey, I’m not going to survive this.” He motioned opening his palms in indication. “Look at me. The first rest my liver has had since you left happened because I’m in the hospital. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat; I miss you so much I’m dying without you. How can you think that I’ll come through the other side without you?”

 

“Jim,”

 

“No! Listen to me.” Jim reached out and grabbed a handful of Harvey’s flannel shirt and curled his fist up in it. “I can’t. That’s the truth. I’m not strong enough, and I don’t care about anything anymore since you’ve left. I need you more than you’ve ever needed me, and I know that to my core. So please; please come back.”

 

He was begging, and it was pathetic to see Jim reduced to such melodrama. That didn’t mean that the sentiments weren’t true however and Harvey searched his expression with his own. “Will you forgive me?”

 

“For what? Leaving me?”

 

Harvey nodded. “That; everything that happened with the Pyg and Penguin? Choosing Scottie because it was easier than asking you to have children with me?”

 

Jim shook his head. “I don’t care about any of that Harvey. I just want to hear you say it now; say that I’m yours. That you’ll come home. That you’re mine for always.”

 

Harvey quirked a smile and leaned forward to hover his lips just above Jim’s. “Only if I can kiss you.” Jim’s lips parted, and he raised his head from the pillow moving to devour Harvey’s lips in his own. “You’re mine; and I’m yours; for always. Please can I come home?” Harvey asked breathlessly once their kiss severed for oxygen.

 

Jim grinned. “Please do.” Harvey kissed him in return. They still had much to discuss but for now everything was mere details and they would get there. For now, the rift was closed, and both were immensely relieved. “I love you.”

 

Harvey smiled in return and kissed Jim tenderly once more. “Good. Because I’ve missed you Junior.” Jim had never been so glad to hear the endearment in his life.

 


End file.
